And a Happy New Year to you, too, ladies and gents
What's that you say? It's a bit bloody late? Well, rather late than never.
It's traditional at this time of year to bang on about oneself, regaling people - including complete strangers - about your big plans for the year.
This is the year you're going to run that marathon, tell your boss to stick his job up his arse, write that novel, travel the world, learn that language, learn how to cook, save money, drink less, stop smoking, be nicer to people, cut down on coffee, stop wearing fur, cycle everywhere, climb trees, start doing yoga, go surfing, get a sports car, wear nicer clothes, lose weight, close your Facebook account, start a band, learn how to paint and, ooh, I don't know, stroke more camels and bring peace to the world.
And good luck, I say! Go for it! All of it. If anybody tells you you're an idiot, tell them to fuck off. And if you fail, who really cares? Just don't keep on and on about it.